Aug 24 2006
About Trixie
Alright all you Chads and wannabes, to become a fully qualified stud of a Chad you totally need a gorgeous Trixie(s - optional) by your side! Come on, what could be better? I totally love being toted around like a trophy trinket, having my moneybags Chad buy all my drinks, food, clothing, and handbags – so read on to find out how you can grab yourself a hot Trixie or two.
The Trixie Mating Call/Ritual
Trixies can be found in packs of 4 – 6. You can spot Trixie packs by their loud obnoxious talking and white-girl dancing. Trixies sport Seven/Citizen jeans, cute frilly tops, trendy purses like Louis Vuitton Pouchettes or Speedys , Gucci Pouchettes, or Allison Burns’ bags. Kate Spade bags are so out, only defective Trixies carry these. Tilli’s on Halsted is a great resting ground for Trixies.
At Tilli’s, Trixies are able flourish, drinking cosmos and other various assortments of martinis and wines. Be advised, a Trixie with a beer is also defective. When approaching a Trixie pack, remain confident. Pop that J-Crew collar up and check your teeth (Trixies become distressed by imperfections). Show off your financial status by not only purchasing one Trixie a drink, but her whole pack as well. Carry yourself with class. Always appear simply taken a back by her absolute beauty and conversation.
Trixie (Homotrixicus) 
Trixies can be found in the Chicago neighborhood of Lincoln Park. However, it is an overall transformation before a female can becomes a Trixie. Trixies are bred in upper class midwestern suburbs. After completing their pubic stage, these females attend one of the Big Ten universities and join popular sororities were they become accustomed to binge drinking and perfecting their sexual appeal. After graduating with marketing, accounting, and/or business degrees, the female migrates to Lincoln Park to complete the transformation: she is now a Trixie.
The Trixie Income
Unfortunately the average Trixie makes the introductory wage ranging from $34 - 40K (and that’s being lenient) a year. Trixies usually find occupations in the Loop working in accounting, finance, marketing, and as assistants. This is where the Chad takes his place in the Trixie food chain. Once a Trixie and Chad have successfully courted, mated, and married. The Trixie can become a fully pledged housewife and soon begin the breeding stage.
The Trixie Ride
Trixies prefer the style and luxury of the European vehicle. The average Trixie mobilizes herself in Volkswagen Jettas. However many Trixies sport Audi, BMW, Mercedes Benz, Land Rover, and Volvo vehicles.
Starbucks: The Trixie/Chad Temple
Trixies accessorize with a Starbucks beverage while out shopping Armitage. Whether it be plain black Verona blend or a cold delicious light Frappaccino (hold the whip cream), it is a must have accessory 24/7, 365 days a year.
Trixie Apparel
Trixies are always fashionable. Even if that means spending all of their paycheck on items they can’t afford due to their average income occupations.
The following are brands you’ll be sure to see on a Trixie – Denim.
- Citizens of Humanity (totally classic)
- Seven for All Mankind (totally classic)
- Antik (it’s totally hot right now)
- Rock and the Republic (may be a bit too trendy for a Trixie)
- Joe’s Jeans
- Paper Denim & Cloth
- Chip & Pepper
- True Religion
- Paige Denim
Other Brands of Clothing/Stores
- Ann Taylor Loft (Hello! Total must haves!!!)
- J-Crew (of course)
- Banana Republic
- Gap
- Ella Moss
- Celeste Turner
- Nordstrom
- Neiman Marcus
- Barney’s
- Marshall Fields
- Abercrombie & Fitch
(5 votes, average: 4 out of 5)
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We all know that trixies, even with their upper eschelon of class status, love hard in the ass. It helps them become completey intouch with what they “poorer side of life” by involving themselves in an act considered so risque or taboo that it must be enjoyed by the less well off because of their primative nature. But beware, just because Trixie is Trixie do not take her word when she says your the first to enter this risk area. She perfected the primative ass banging during her junior year or drunk soroity slutting. To date she’s had approximately 5 - 7 chads enter the grounds on browns. Out of that 5 - 7, at least 4 were drunken catches that she never saw again. Its ok though, even though Chads and Trixies do not speak of their risque behavior, it exists in abundance. Makes you think twice about shaking Chads hand when you bump into him at the bar, doesnt it?
I wonder if Trixie brains are tasty. MMMMMM BRAAAAINSSSSS!!!!
They behave like airheaded bimbos for the most part (even though there are some that act like normal people) and prance around drinking lattes and eating scones all day.
Trixie’s are very generic and all over MySpace. Interests include Wine and Martini’s and going out for ‘Mans and Peds’ Saturday afternoon.
[…] holy hell, the definition just seems to […]
so you should do a token name list…i want to see if my name makes it or not…my guess is the list would include the following:
katie (short for katheirne names after $ loaded gma)
mindy
ally
kellie
chelsie
kristen
tiff
jessica (duh, there are liek 40 million of them. ugh!)
kasey
cali
libby/lizzie (again, after gma)
amber
i could go on forever…
White Girl Dancing…Brilliant
why are trixie’s so materialistic? with their big sunglasses they look like bugs! and their trendy bags and their fixation on men. leave me wearing my overalls in my little garden painting away or reading Octavio Paz and i will be happy as a clam.
No way do we wear Antik. Maybe in 04. And Ann Taylor? Gap? I mean…
and they all look/dress alike
You can’t forget about the pink Cubs baseball cap (or any other blasphemously pink Cubs wear) and sunglasses with lenses at least 4″ in diameter.
[…] But I was wrong. In fact, there were multiple trucker hats, bros or as I have heard them called before, “chads” and “trixies”. […]
[…] OHB ran out of whatever type of alcohol he was drinking and yelled across the bar at me, “HEY TRIXIE! GET ME A DRINK!” I was all set to yell at him that I do NOT live in Lincoln Park and I do […]
Do not forget the obligatory Trixie experience: bachelorette-party slumming in Boystown where it’s “oh so safe” and the male strippers are oh so hot and the drag queens serving martinis at Kit Kat are so KITSCH!
The infestation has gotten so bad that one cannot go to eat at Ping Pong or Sura without enduring huge flocks of these drunken magpies, wearing ridiculous hats or tiaras or headbands emblazoned with their ex-sorority logos, and occupying one-third more than the normally allotted space for a party of their size so they can stack up their gifty bags with dildos and pink and blue booties for the inevitable Chad-Trixie offspring.