Aug 24 2006
About Chad
About Being a Chad
You’ve got the looks, you’ve got the money. What else do you need? Well, a good car, a “tight” condo and a trophy wife. You were born with good looks and daddy gave you a trust fund. Now it’s time to live in Lincoln Park and live how everybody else wants to live.
Being a “Chad” isn’t all about money and image. We’re people that want to live in the best neighborhood in Chicago and live well. Lincoln Park is placed in the middle of the Gold Coast, a highly affluent area, and the culturally diverse Lakeview. There are subtle differences in Lincoln Park that set it aside from the surrounding gritty neighborhoods. We have unique shops, exciting bars, excellent restaurants, better street repair and CTA services all over the neighborhood.
The Chad Education
You went to a private, college prep high school and your GPA was on a 4.0 scale with the option to take Honors or AP classes. Do you remember going to high school? Well, there were the public kids and the private kids; you were not allowed to mingle with kids that went to places of free education. They bought their notebooks at Wal-Mart and Jewel while you bought a nice college ruled, dual-pad, letter size pad with micro-perforations for easy sheet removal.
Chad’s Job
You work in the Financial District of the loop.
Taking the Brown line out of Lincoln Park into the loop is a privilege. You enjoy cramming into the Brown line southbound cars with the business class wearing your pressed shirt, sporting your leather briefcase or messenger bag. How many times a day do you get a cuddle up next to a cute blonde who smells like flowers since she just got out of the shower? Smile and nod, I’m sure you will see her at the corner of Madison and Franklin later when she is walking to Cosi.
The Sporty Hangout
Monday nights are spend at $1 burger night at Kinkade’s on Armitage.
Beer? A dollar for a burger (well cheese is a $0.50 add-on), how can you go wrong? There’s nothing like watching five sports games all at once. Often times you will hear your group of guy friends say, “dude, did you see that play?” or “wasn’t that an awesome play” and swap an irrelevant high-five in honor of your favorite sports team.
The Casual Chad
Your idea of casual Friday at your firm means wearing your favorite pink polo and well, it looks good on you. You are comfortable with wearing pink around other men because you are comfortable with your masculinity. To all you nay-sayers who doubt the power of Chad’s pink polo, there is semi-scientific evidence to prove otherwise…
“From my own experience, I can say that women love to see a man wearing pink,” Boye said. “I’ve gotten compliments, catcalls. Pink says he’s daring, confident and well-dressed. What we’ve learned it also says to women is that the man wearing pink is sensitive.” [chicagotribune.com]
Chad’s Name
A true Chad has a one or two syllable name.
Brad
Brendan
Brian
Chad
Collin
Corey
Derek
Jim
Kyle
Pat
Ryan
(9 votes, average: 5 out of 5)
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You forgot the pinstripe shirt.
Dude, you used my picture. I completed that pass for a 50-yd TD to win the Chicago Sport and Social Club championship. Awesome, bro!
I agree with your first comment poster. You definitely must add pinstripe shirt, with rolled up sleeves, to your list. I would also like to suggest the name “Adam”.
Northsider
I think you overestimate the prevalence of prep school educated, trust funded males in LP. Do you understand what a trust fund is ?(inheriting money outright is much more preferable from the beneficiary’s standpoint) I think the more accurate picture of the typical LP male is some quite middle middle class dude from Ohio, Michigan, or Ohio that went to a big 10 school. Probably the people in Bucktown are generally from more affluent families, I’d bet?
Why is the collar not “popped”?
Haha, this is pretty funny, I wanna see more.
A couple suggestions:
In “The Sporty Hangout” section, you have a couple grammar/spelling errors. “Doller burgers” should read “Dollar Burgers” and when there’s an awesome play, a Chad will swap “AN irrelevant high-five.”
Also, why does a Chad have to have a 4.0 gpa? Based on my experiences in Chadville, I don’t think that’s a pre-req for Chad status. I also agree w/ Jack’s comment (above) about the Big 10 schools (Michigan, Ohio).
Surrounded by comfort zones and always copy each other, therfore by distinguishing your-selfs with the false ego’s you shall by default assume the illusion of substantiality among the sheeple. The reality of the fact is that among all your accolades and accomplishments, it is in all actuality the immigrant bus boy serving your water that holds higher esteem in the inner worlds of humbleness and humility. A living trend and it makes me laugh, but I still Love you only because I know something you don’t!!!!!
Scarey, Lincoln park is now just a white suburb with guys from Michigan or some other crappy white boy burb. The word dude is 20 years old, geez get a life outside of yourself.
nice
;))
There is a glaring omission in this description (pinstripe, popped-collar shirts aside). Within the Chad fraternity, latent-homosexuality abounds. There is a great deal of athleticism involved in Chad downtime. WIth that comes sweating, rubbing, grabbing, and the inevitable ass-slapping for a goal or point well-scored. And with all the drinking (and difficulty in consistently nailing Trixies), the pent up sexual tension inevitably spills over into much-regretted man on man love. But to make the connection between Chads and gay men is most-certainly a greater slight to homosexuals than to Chads. Here’s a fun game: next time you find yourself talking to a Chad, tell him about the Kinsey scale. But be sure to watch his eyes carefully! If they avert your gaze or seem to look off into the distance, you have a Chad who has most certainly embraced the love that dare not speak its name.
A section on the ‘Chad’ crew and how Chad usually travels in packs. Chad’s do travel in packs and there is a Social Order within Chad’s crew. There’s usually a leader or two with 3-6 follower’s. When you spot them at Casey Morans or Grand Central, look for multiple high fives, jager bombs, striped shirts, red bull and vodka’s, and some have been known to carry business cards claiming to be Junior Vice President’s of some sales company that pedal urinal cakes and coverall uniforms for those ’skeezy’ blue collar workers.
Most Chi-town Chads did not go to private school. 99.9% of the Chads in Chicago are from public school education. These guys are a joke compared to the private-school Chads from New England. Unsophisticated Midwestern boys are no match for the better-breed New England men. Chicago is a “second city” for a reason.
I think you forgot to mention that the Chad likes to work hard and play hard. He also loves living life to “its fullest” and is looking for his partner in crime.
Are you kidding me??? Is this “chad” thing for real???
Two Words: Bro Rape!!
You seem to have forgotten the most challenging issue all “Chads” must battle, the relentless gay thoughts that swirl through their lightly frosted tipped head. An issues they all attempt to overcome for fear of losing their inheritance
I believe it exists. Along with the trixies!
Either Ugandans just ran through my front yard or I’m still drunk
LO F’n L. Names should also include Drew and Brandon.
Also missing mentions of traditional “knuckle punch” greeting and small animals (usually alligators) on the front left of the polo.
I didn’t know I was so derogatory.
Funny shit none the less.
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Don’t forget: packs of Chads sometimes brave the onslaught of The Gays to tackle the semi-annual sale at Shirts on Sheffield, where they will try on $30 shirts (marked down from $90 or more!) and then size each other up in the mirror while trying on shirts amid the packed sales racks and say things to each other like “Dude, you’re totally gonna be THAT GUY wearing that shirt.” This actually happened, I saw it. What the hell is this THAT GUY shit? Is this the male version of Marlo Thomas?
In Nashville, we call ‘em “dude Shauns”
Justin Quandt: Classic Chad http://www.justinquandt.com/
Check out his tips on dating women!
Well this just settles it…….I have to change my name now!