I was traveling northbound on Milwaukee during rush hour in my car and I got stuck in the intersection of Milwaukee and Evergreen while trying to get past North Ave. Traffic was barely moving since all the hipsters were mulling about at the Triangle (Milwaukee-Damen-North) causing only a few cars to get though a green light.

After I got caught in the intersection, I started a left turn onto Evergreen to get out of the intersection. As I started to accelerate in first gear, a barrage of hipsters on rusty bikes came at me from the left. One dirty blonde, smelly T-shirt wearing girl was cut off as I completed my turn and gave me the finger. “Get out of the way! Get a job!” I politely yelled out the window as I sped down Evergreen and past Wicker Park.

Note to all Chads: watch out for incoming fleets of rusty bikes when travelling in Wicker Park. They seem to travel in packs of three to five and carry groceries from organic places or acoustic guitars that their fathers once owned. These items may damage your Jeep or BMW so use caution when traveling near Hipster Triangle.

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